


Being Broken Is Okay When It's With You

by imdrowningingaylosers



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:18:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imdrowningingaylosers/pseuds/imdrowningingaylosers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been connected from the beginning. They'd always been each other's support in the face of pain no children should ever experience. With each other's help, they're determined to overcome all ways in which they're wounded to find happiness together.</p><p>-----</p><p>my personal sad headcanons regarding Oikawa and Iwaizumi's home lives and how their experience brought them together</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

The first time Oikawa and Iwaizumi met, it was at the neighbourhood playground. Both of them were alone, so they exchanged names and played together like any regular children. Their first meeting was nothing special and neither stuck in the other’s mind. When they both parted ways to go back to their homes, it was with nothing more than a thought that it was quite fun playing with the other. 

The second time they met was the next evening, and it was less regular. Oikawa was sitting on the window ledge next to the front door, waiting for his parents come home from work, though he knew it could still take anything between 5 minutes and 2 hours. The streetlights danced in the darkness outside and he entertained himself by closing his eyes to see the light spots slowly fading, only to open them again and blind himself. When his head began to hurt from his little game, he rubbed at his eyes with his fists, and when he looked back up, he saw a figure walking down the street.

It was the boy from the other day, though Oikawa didn’t even remember his name. He was walking alone, hands in his pockets and his head hung. His expression was more serious that you’d ever expect from a child, and Oikawa couldn’t help but wonder why. 

The front door creaked open, grabbing the boy’s attention. He stopped in his tracks and looked at Oikawa, sticking his head out into the dark. “Hi!” Oikawa, started, not really knowing what to say and whether it was his place to say anything. The other boy seemed angry. He nodded in response and began turning away to continue on his furious treck down the sidewalk. “Would you like to come in? We could play for a bit!”

The boy gaped at Oikawa, curious and confused. His hair was scruffier than the other day but his eyes still shone a fierce energetic green. He looked down the street in the direction he was heading, and then turned his gaze back to Oikawa, still poking his head out past the doorframe. “Don’t you have to ask your parents first?” he questioned in a tone that was mildly accusatory. 

Oikawa shrugged. “They’re not home yet. Might not be for a while still, and anyway, they don’t care.” 

The boy hesitated and looked down the street again, as if Oikawa was convincing him to skip some very important meeting, but eventually relented and slowly made his way towards the front door. Oikawa shut the door behind him and motioned for him to take his shoes off. “I don’t remember your name… I’m Tooru! Oikawa Tooru!” 

“Oikawa… Thanks for inviting me. I’m Iwaizumi.”

“Iwaizumi what?” Oikawa questioned, cocking his head in amusement. This Iwaizumi was really quite bizarre in more ways than one – he was mysterious and looked so serious despite seeming about Oikawa’s age. 

“Hajime.” He seemed reluctant to admit his own name, but something about his expression told Oikawa not to question it. At least, not yet. 

“Nice to meet you again! Why were you out on the street by yourself anyway? It’s dangerous to walk around like that at night, you know!”

Iwaizumi shoved his hands back deep into his pockets and looked away. “Ah, yeah... I had a fight with my dad.” He finished his explanation with a shrug, as if it would be enough to make him look like he didn’t care at all.

“Oh… I’m sorry.” Oikawa didn’t really know what to say. He’d never really fought with either of his parents.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it.” 

“So… What did you guys fight about?”

“He got mad at me.”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“You must have done something!” Oikawa laughed. This Iwaizumi boy was so strange.

Iwaizumi pouted a little and hunched his shoulders. “I didn’t! I was watching TV and he came home from work and told me to go somewhere else because he’d had a bad day and didn’t want to see me. So I left so he wouldn’t have to see me.”

The smile had faded from Oikawa’s face. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t old enough to understand what Iwaizumi was feeling, nor had he ever heard of a father saying that to his son. He just knew it must have made Iwaizumi sad.

“He doesn’t sound very nice… You know, my parents are never home, so if your dad is ever being mean, you can come here and we can play together!” 

Green eyes skipped back to him, open wide, but they glistened with something like gratitude and excitement. “You’re home alone all day? How old are you?”

“Seven. My parents work a lot, though. How old are you?”

“Seven.”

“We’re the same age! Let’s play together from now on!”  
They spent time together regularly after that. Sometimes just to play during the day and evenings, and sometimes because Iwaizumi would show up at Oikawa’s door unannounced, frowning and kicking at pebbles until his friend let him in. It wasn’t until months later that Iwaizumi had actually seen Oikawa’s parents in the flesh, and even then it was only for two minutes before they had left the house again.


	2. By Your Side

The smack of Iwaizumi’s palm against the material of the ball was loud enough to make any passerby flinch. It was a painful sound, one that made it clear the boy was putting all his strength into every spike, despite just playing with his friend in the park. The sun was setting and Oikawa began to grow nervous – he knew Iwaizumi’s father would be furious. Even though it was still light out, it was already late, and much later than Iwaizumi was supposed to be home.

“Oi, toss another one.”

Oikawa held the ball in his hands, stroking its material with his thumb hesistantly. He knew how important volleyball had become to Iwaizumi since Oikawa had managed to convince him to start playing. It meant he could let off steam, use his strength to release some of the frustrating powerlessness he felt. But it really was getting late.

“Iwa-chan, I’m not tossing to you anymore…”

“Huh?! That’s a joke right?!”

“You’re going to get in trouble already anyway!”

Iwaizumi didn’t reply. The anger on his face melted into resignation. He knew Oikawa was right. They gathered their things and headed back home, chattering mindlessly like regular 11 year old boys, until they had to part ways with sour looks on their faces. Home wasn’t great for either.

Iwaizumi didn’t even manage to close the front door before he heard his father bark “Hajime!” from the living room. His mother stepped into the entrance hall from the kitchen, clutching at her sweater and watching her son with fear in her eyes. He didn’t look at her as he walked into the living room. His father was sitting on the couch, a newspaper laid out on his lap as he waited for his son to explain himself. Iwaizumi was silent.

“Well?” he questioned, finally. “Why are you so late? Did you forget how to read the time?”

“I was playing volleyball and got carried away.” 

“You got carried away? And what if I get carried away too, huh?”

The threat hung heavy in the air. Iwaizumi didn’t move nor did he say anything. He watched his father with a blank expression, emotions boiling in his abdomen but pushed back for the time being. 

“We’ve been too easy on you, Hajime. You’re so spoilt and ungrateful, it’s embarassing having such a brat for a son. You owe us your life and yet you treat us like we’re such horrible parents and you’re the next messiah. Go to your room. Since you were late for dinner, you can sleep hungry.” 

The boy turned on his heel and made his way up the stairs. The last thing he heard before slamming the door of his room shut was his father complaining about how this is why he never wanted kids in the first place.

He laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling, controlling his breathing and counting in his head. He knew it wasn’t the end of it. Sure enough, five minutes hadn’t passed before there was a knock at his door and his mother shoved her head in, tears streaming down her cheeks and voice shaking.

“Hajime, why can’t you just be nice to him? Why do you always have to make him mad? I just don’t understand where we went wrong…” 

At the sound of a muffled sob, Iwaizumi threw himself onto his side to face the wall and bit his lip hard until his mother gave up and closed his door again. He tried to control himself, but the tears were falling one after another and his fingers dug painfully into his ribs. His throat felt like it was closing up and it was hard to take a deep breath, and he just kept breathing as evenly and slowly as possible, eyes tracing the faint pattern on his wall. 

He couldn’t wait for the next afternoon, so he could go and practice with Oikawa, the boy down the street who understands what it means to be broken.

 

 

Oikawa’s eyes followed the movements of the players on the screen, his chin resting on his boney knees and toes curling and uncurling in excitement. Volleyball was such a graceful sport and watching it was almost as satisfying as playing it.

His bubble was popped by the sound of the front door clicking open and the faint voices of his parents. He paused the match and focused his gaze on the door of his bedroom, but his parents didn’t call his name. They addressed him so rarely these days, that when they did, his own name sounded foreign and unknown. After five minutes of muffled voices, he stood up and made his way to the living room.

His parents were unpacking their workbags – papers, folders, everything lined up neatly, with care. 

“How was work?” he asked in his usual cheerful tone. His parents glanced up at him, as if they had forgotten for a second they had a child. 

“Fine.” his mother responded quickly, too distracted with organizing files into little mountains of papers covered in blocks of text. 

“Are we having dinner?” His mother looked up at him again, this time maintaining eye contact for a couple seconds, staring at him dumbly like he was asking something too stupid for her to know if he’s serious. His father left the room and headed to the study without a word. Oikawa watched his mother.

“We ate at work, actually. You’re old enough to make your own food, aren’t you?” She grabbed a pile of papers and followed her husband, leaving Oikawa in the living room by himself. He watched her back as she left, wide eyes of a little boy who didn’t understand how blocks of text could be more interesting than their own son.

He ate a piece of bread with cheese for dinner and climbed into his bed, thinking about how even when there’s silence when he’s with Iwaizumi, it’s never as cold and terrifying as the one in his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes i have a lot of painful headcanons about iwa and oikawa's family lives .... i swear there will be some happiness tho .....
> 
> you can find me on tumblr yourweeaboobs i run the blog with a friend (agata)
> 
> please leave comments they really encourage me to write more!!! thank you so much!!!! :)


	3. Seeing You Hurt

The two boys walked in silence, hands in pockets, occasionally kicking at a loose stone on the sidewalk. Iwaizumi could practically hear the cogs turning in Oikawa’s head at an alarming pace. Whatever he was thinking, Iwaizumi knew it wasn’t good.

High school had brought many changes for the two of them. A new volleyball team brought new excitement that was therapeutic, but not every practice went well. Today had been worse and Oikawa’s habit of beating himself up over every mistake he made didn’t falter. Iwaizumi watched his best friend, worry crawling up to play at his tongue, urging him to say something. 

“Are your parents back from their business trip yet?” he questioned, although he already knew the answer. 

“No, not yet.” Oikawa’s voice was distant, distracted. 

“Oikawa.” No response. “Oi. Tooru.” 

Oikawa stopped and looked at Iwaizumi. His face still spelt hurt, but being called by his first name always loosened him up a bit. It was something Iwaizumi had started to do since Oikawa confessed to him how rarely his parents even said his name, though Iwaizumi only used it in private. Oikawa watched him, before casting his eyes down and kicking at the ground. 

“Sorry, Iwa-chan. It’s not been a good day.”

“I know. But you know it’s only one day. Tomorrow will be better.” 

“Will it? You sound so sure.”

They stood still for a while. Iwaizumi felt a familiar sting in his chest. It was always like this when Oikawa brought himself down. Iwaizumi was always going to step in and stop him from blaming himself and giving up, but Oikawa didn’t know why the other tried so hard. Iwaizumi never backed down until he managed to make him feel better again, even when it took days. Oikawa bit at his lip. He wanted to ignore the uncomfortable silence and turn around to keep walking home, but he knew his friend would never leave it at this. He was processing at what angle to approach the situation and Oikawa felt mildly guilty for expecting him to and for waiting for reassurance. He’d always relied on Iwaizumi’s words of comfort and did his best to return the favour when he needed to.

“Oikawa, I’m fucking sure. Yesterday was better than today and tomorrow will be too.”

The setter smiled sadly, eyes still focused on the ground. “Or it’ll be worse than today, just like today was worse than yesterday.” he whispered, guilt wringing at his gut. He wanted to believe Iwaizumi’s words, and he knew his ace was probably right, like always, but the slump he was stuck in was too deep to climb out of yet.

Iwiazumi watched Oikawa for a moment longer and tried desperately not to focus on the anger building up in the back of his mind – all he could see was Oikawa tearing himself down the way Iwaizumi’s father had always tried to tear him down. It was unbearable to witness. He took a deep breath.

“You want to show them right? Tooru.” Oikawa looked up at him, brown eyes open wide. “You want to show them that all those years they’ve ignored you, they missed out. You want them to regret it.”

Oikawa smiled sadly, cocking his head at Iwaizumi. “Is that bad, Iwa-chan?” His voice was quiet, but it didn’t waver. “That while I mean so little to them, they still mean so much to me? That I still want them to be proud?”

“No. I don’t think so. You still love volleyball. They’re not the only reason you play.” 

The wind blew a strand of brown hair into Oikawa’s eyes. His smile shifted into one more sincere, comforting. He believed Iwaizumi’s words. The two had always understood each other in a way no one else could understand either of them. They both suffered as children and they still bore that suffering.  
“Do you still want to make your dad proud, Iwa-chan?”

“No. I want to prove him wrong.”

“Would you forgive him if he apologized for everything?”

The frown that always settled on Iwaizumi’s face when he thought about his father made his eyes shine with years of anger. Oikawa had always quietly wondered if it was strange for him to find that glimmer beautiful – it was the strength he loved in Iwaizumi. Giving up was never an option for him. Maybe that was the difference between sadness and anger. Sadness was painful but calm and anger was venomous but motivating. 

“No.” Iwaizumi’s voice was determined and unbroken. It seemed to stand out in the otherwise quiet and empty street, littered only by the distant sound of cars rushing by and the soft trinkling music escaping from a home nearby. “Would you forgive yours?”

The smile on Oikawa’s face faded and his eyebrows twitched. “Yeah,” he admitted, “but I know that even if I managed to make them proud, they wouldn’t apologize.”

They were silent for a bit longer, and then they both resumed their quiet march home. Their minds mulled over what they had both admitted to each other and themselves, just one more point to add to their list of things that hurt them every single day. Before they knew it, they had reached Oikawa’s house. Iwaizumi grabbed his friend’s elbow loosely, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Tooru, tomorrow will be better. Let’s show them they’re wrong. The more they bring us down, the more we push back. Promise?” 

His voice was so certain, so full of worry and decisiveness that Oikawa couldn’t help but feel warm. He smiled and nodded. Iwaizumi grinned back at him and continued walking to his own house down the street. Oikawa looked after him briefly before unlocking the front door and entering the empty house. On his way up to his room, he thought about Iwaizumi – the boy who had always been there for him, reassuring him that it was his parents who were wrong and didn’t know what they had, that there was nothing wrong with him. The boy who always found the right words to make Oikawa’s eyes light up with childish bliss, who could distract Oikawa from the ugly thoughts in his head and who hugged him when his parents didn’t. The boy who started calling him by his first name so he’d get to hear it from someone who cares for him, a sound laced with affection rather than empty puffs of air. He lay down on his bed, eyes focused on the ceiling. He remembered the way Iwaizumi had grinned at him and reassured him even though he was about to head to his own personal hell. Oikawa thought it was beautiful that someone who had always been bullied and broken by those closest to him could still be so lovely. 

“Hajime.” he said quietly, trying his best to make the sound roll off his tongue as delicately as possible. It was a name he had called Iwaizumi only once, when they were children and had just begun to develop a friendship. Iwaizumi had flinched and asked Oikawa not to call him that. With time Oikawa understood that all that the name was to his friend was a word that was thrown at him with a scoff or a snarl like an insult. Oikawa cleared his throat.

“Hajime.” he tried again, making the word sound more breathy than before. He vowed to one day learn to say the name softly enough that it wouldn’t hurt Iwaizumi anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so painful to write oh god 
> 
> please leave comments i love to hear what you guys think! i can be found on tumblr yourweeaboobs i run the blog with a friend (i'm agata) 
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!!! <3


	4. Absence

The cheers of the crowds were interlaced with the manic shreaking of Oikawa’s fangirls. He waved to them, feigning interest, but his eyes were scanning the crowd looking for someone else. There was hope and fear in his gut, and the tension in his muscles made him jump at every smack of a volleyball against the floor as his team warmed up before the match. He should have been there with them, stretching the nervous fibres of his legs and arms. He was still looking. His eyes glided over every face watching them once, twice, and finally a third time, his ribs tightening around his lungs with every passing second as the numb disappointment hit him. His parents didn’t show up. Not that he could really expect them to. He remembered one game when they watched him, and they didn’t cheer or smile. His team lost.

He turned away, his face neutral – a skill he’d acquired over years of being the school’s crowning jewel, the perfect setter who wasn’t quite perfect enough. His eyes focused on Iwaizumi, standing a little to the left of the court, pretending to stretch as his eyes also looked for someone in the crowd. Oikawa felt warm pity at the sight. He knew what Iwaizumi was feeling, though it was so different from what he felt when he searched for his parents just moments before. He hoped they’d show up for once. Iwaizumi was terrified of the idea of spotting his father’s face, watching him, crowding him, controlling him. His father had never shown up to a single game, and maybe that was all the more terrifying. It meant if he did ever come to watch his son, Iwaizumi would be completely unprepared. 

Finally, Iwaizumi’s face fell in relief and he turned back to the court, ready to warm up with his team and have a good game. Oikawa jogged over to the court as well, quickly catching Iwaizumi by the shoulder. Their eyes met and Iwaizumi smiled sadly at Oikawa, immediately knowing by his expression that his parents hadn’t shown up yet again. 

“The more they bring us down, the more we push back, right?” Oikawa muttered, so only Iwaizumi would hear, and grinned, summoning up the adrenaline he needed for the game, pushing back the bitter disappointment for later. His best friend nodded at him and slapped him on the back, their shared determination to prove their own worth guiding them forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is very short but the next one will be longer, fluffier and sadder! as always, please leave comments, they really help me get a feel for how this work is being received and help me get to writing sooner! :) thank you! 
> 
> i can be found on tumblr yourweeaboobs i run the blog with a friend (i'm agata)


	5. A Place To Go

The shimmer of raindrops hitting against his window usually lulled Oikawa right to sleep, but tonight he lay staring at the ceiling, the haphazard drumming of rain mediated by the even ticking of his alarm clock. He glanced at the device, eyes sliding along the hands lazily, desire to know the time the result of boredom and exasperation rather than genuine curiosity. It was only a couple minutes past 11. It was no wonder he couldn’t get to sleep yet. It had always been like this on nights when his parents would come home from work particularly tired and went to bed early. He’d stay up for another hour, maybe two, but eventually get too fidgety at the silence and the need to tiptoe around the house so as not to wake them and would go to bed early himself. He still wouldn’t fall asleep for a while, though.

Just as his mind began to beg for a distraction, his phone buzzed. He stretched his arm to get it off the bedside table without having to lift his back off the matress, his joints cracking after a day of intense training. He unlocked his phone to read the message. It was from Iwaizumi, and Oikawa’s face tensed in concern as he read the short text, ‘I’m outside’. He threw his covers aside and slid quickly but quietly down the stairs and to the front door.

The hum of the rain turned into a sound like millions of small hooves batting against the concrete outside, the thuds no longer muffled and sugarcoated as Oikawa swung the door open. Surely enough, Iwaizumi stood before him, wearing only a thin tshirt and trackpants, soaked to the bone and shaking. Oikawa looked at his friend’s face, eyes glowing wildly, pupils blown wide and unable to focus. Oikawa knew that expression, and immediately he knew Iwaizumi wasn’t shaking from the cold. Oikawa dragged the other inside, clinging to the soaked material of his tshirt, as Iwaizumi toed his sneakers off and followed Oikawa up the stairs in silence. They quickly snuck into the bedroom and Iwaizumi stopped in front of the bed, as Oikawa darted around his room, gathering a towel and a change of clothes for the other. He threw them at Iwaizumi, who quickly changed and dried himself off, every movement rushed and clumsy, but precise. He rubbed at his hair with the towel with enough force to nearly scalp himself and finally sat on the edge of Oikawa’s bed, head hung and body still shaking under the material of Oikawa’s warmest hoodie. Oikawa sat next to him, close enough for their knees to touch firmly, and slid his arms around Iwaizumi’s shoulders, pulling him close and holding him tightly, trying to force the shaking down with the stability of his own body, a protective instinct he got from TV rather than his own mother. Iwaizumi was still too shaken up to talk, Oikawa knew that. They stayed like that for some ten minutes, Iwaizumi breathing deeply and slowly, trying to ease off the adrenaline pumping through his veins. The panic that had eaten away at his adopted composure finally began to subside into the usual resignation and hurt. He took a couple deeper breaths, preparing himself to articulate what had happened. Oikawa waited patiently, still holding his best friend as tightly as their position let them.

“He came home really late. They had a sort of dinner party at his work or whatever.” The words were tumbling off Iwaizumi’s tongue slowly, still uneven from his deep breathing. Oikawa rested his cheek against Iwaizumi’s shoulder in an attempt to encourage him to keep talking and to ground him further in whatever feeling of safety Oikawa could offer him. “My mom just asked why he’d come home so late and he just started screaming at her, he was being such a dick. Then he turns to me and says I’m a disgusting abusive son who makes his mother cry, so I asked how come I’m the one who upset her when he just yelled at her for no reason and I hadn’t even said a single word since he walked through the door.” His words were beginning to speed up, anger seeping into them, though Iwaizumi’s body remained still and rigid. “So then he was like, ‘We were perfectly happy before you were born, all you do is piss me off and upset your mother, coming home late, leaving her alone all day so you can play some stupid sport you’re only half-good at’ and all this shit to put all the blame on me, as fucking usual. So I got pissed and asked if he realizes that all he ever fucking does is hurt his family and fuck his only child up mentally and he scoffed at me, he literally scoffed at me, Oikawa, and said ‘You’re my child. You belong to me so I can hurt you if I want to.’ Word for word, he said that.”

The atmosphere had changed entirely. The renewed silence was now flavored by the mild disbelief on Iwaizumi’s face, who had been able to look back on the situation and was now incapable of believing it had really happened, and Oikawa’s shuddering breaths, his throat tightly held by frustration and pity. He pressed his cheek harder against Iwaizumi and pulled at the material of his hoodie, nails bluntly scratching at Iwaizumi’s skin through the fabric. 

“I’m so sorry, Iwa-chan…” Oikawa whispered feebly, knowing that it was enough. Iwaizumi’s shoulder gave a tiny jerk and Oikawa lifted his head, allowing his friend to twist his body so they could hug properly. Iwaizumi’s panic attack had dissolved fully, now just a bitter memory, leaving the angry powerlessness that lay deep in his core. 

The hands of the alarm clock on the bedside table ticked on, counting the seconds, minutes as the two boys sat on the bed, holding each other. This was an intimacy they allowed themselves from time to time, when either of them needed it; one they had both silently agreed to keep secret. As always on nights like this, Iwaizumi slept with Oikawa in one bed, a habit they willingly maintained from their childhood. It was a comfort they didn’t necessarily need, but had chosen to engage in when they desired it. They lay on their sides, facing each other, half a metre to separate them. The rain continued to beat against the window and the roof above their heads, gaining force in a way that made it unclear whether the downpour would carry on the next day or whether the morning sun would rise in a clear sky. 

“Do you hate your mom, too?” Oikawa questioned, concern still biting away at his abdomen. Iwaizumi’s face had fallen back into its unreadable fierce expression, one coming from countless scars and childish sadness that had matured into dull resentment.

Iwaizumi shrugged with the shoulder that wasn’t pressed into the matress. “I don’t know… He mistreats her too, but she never stood up for me, not even when I was a kid. She blames me too, I think. I think… I pity her. But I resent her. She’s never been there for me.”

Oikawa smiled a little. Iwaizumi’s replies were always perfectly calculated. Rational. It was something Oikawa truly admired about his friend, ever since they were kids. Even when in a situation like this, freshly recovered from a panic attack and definitely still somewhat shaken by his father’s behaviour, he was capable of taking a step back and analyzing his own emotions with such clarity, as if they were all spelt out for him. Oikawa watched Iwaizumi’s face, his eyes adjusted to the darkness enough for him to see the shadows in the shallow dip from his brow to where his eyelids covered his eyes, cast down but awake. Warmth welled up in Oikawa’s chest, and he couldn’t understand how anyone didn’t see what he saw in Iwaizumi. A need to protect travelled through his nerves to the tips of his fingers, and he noticed that even though he was warm, he was somehow still too cold. 

“I’m here for you, Iwa-chan. Always.” 

Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa. His gaze was full of caring, and, although it was really nothing unusual, for Oikawa it felt different somehow. It kind of felt hypnotic, like it was physically pulling him towards Iwaizumi.

“I know. And I’m here for you.”

The tension in the relatively small space between them made Oikawa’s jaw itch. He suddenly felt an urgency to speak; whether to change the atmosphere or maintain it, he wasn’t too sure.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” he started, a little out of breath. “That’s it’s just the two of us? I don’t really know what it would be like if our families were more normal.”

“Yeah. We’d probably still be friends, but maybe not close. I mean, you are generally pretty annoying.”

Oikawa slapped gently at the other’s shoulder. “Waaah, Iwa-chan, you’re so mean!” 

They fell silent again. The teasing had brought back some lightheartedness, but it didn’t get rid of the tingling in Oikawa’s fingertips. His chest felt swollen all of a sudden and he couldn’t stop fidgeting. Iwaizumi’s eyes were cast down again and his hand lay loosely between them, his fingers curling in a relaxed arch. The fidgeting demanded to be eased, and Oikawa’s fingers begged for the touch of the skin on Iwaizumi’s palm and, in a sudden burst of confidence, he reached out slowly and let himself touch Iwaizumi’s hand, just barely. Green eyes lifted again, but they weren’t questioning or confused. Iwaizumi turned his hand, inviting Oikawa, telling him it was okay, and they interlaced their fingers, palms pressed together. 

Oikawa tried to ignore the urge to sigh. He tried to not think about why his chest tightened more at the brush of Iwaizumi’s skin, thick and rough but so so warm, so perfectly fitted to Iwaizumi’s personality. 

“I’m really happy I have you, Iwa-chan.” He managed not to stutter as he filled the quiet that made it far too easy to think about what he was feeling and why. “It’s kind of like, being broken is okay if it’s with you.”

“Yeah…” Iwaizumi’s breath caressed the back of Oikawa’s hand, making his stomach tighten. “You too, Tooru.”

It was past midnight on a school night and the exhaustion of the day and the evening finally stuck its claws into both boys. They fell asleep facing each other, hands still clasped tightly together, Oikawa’s stomach still tight from every puff of breath fanning over the skin of his hand as Iwaizumi’s presence radiated through him with an insistence Oikawa struggled to make sense of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is longer, as promised! please let me know what u think in the comments and i hope u enjoyed (as much as one can enjoy angst) and thank you so much for reading!!!!! :)
> 
> i can be found on tumblr yourweeaboobs i run the blog with a friend (i'm agata)


	6. Smile

The grass tickled Oikawa’s hurting cheeks and the sun beat down on him in a comforting warm embrace. He could hear Iwaizumi’s puffing to his left, both of them exhausted from laughter and chasing each other around like they did when they were kids.

As high school was slowly nearing its end for the two of them, stress started to really pile up. The situation at both their households was becoming more intense – Oikawa’s parents showed no sign of sadness at the idea of their son leaving home, and Iwaizumi’s father was being even more demoralizing than usual, mocking Iwaizumi’s plans for university and offering no encouragement for his final exams and important volleyball matches ahead of them. They both needed a Sunday afternoon to themselves in the sun, joking around and being silly. They just needed to pretend everything was okay for a while.

Oikawa turned his head to look at Iwaizumi, their breathing having finally calmed down enough to start fooling around again. Iwaizumi’s face was serious in a way Oikawa didn’t like, stress beginning to permeate into their carefree afternoon. He reached his hand out to poke Iwaizumi’s cheek, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Iwa-chan, smile!” he exclaimed. “You’re always so grumpy! People will start calling us beauty and the beast!”

“Shittykawa, one more word and I’ll use your spine as a backscratcher.” Iwaizumi slapped his hand away, but his face had a much softer expression than usual and Oikawa couldn’t help but smile wider at him. Oikawa’s chest constricted in that annoying way it had been doing recently. His stomach felt funny and made his fingers fidget again and Iwaizumi was lying right next to him, handsome and solid in a way that made him want to lean against his friend even as they lay in the grass. Oikawa had realized that the weird sensation of being cold and warm at the same time wasn’t really that – it was more like wanting to be even warmer for a reason he didn’t really understand, but he knew Iwaizumi was warm. His hands were warm. 

His fingers found Iwaizumi’s thicker ones and the exertion of running after each other all afternoon made them radiate heat strongly enough that Oikawa could feel it even just brushing against the other’s skin. His movements were shy, as they had been the other night when he’d held Iwaizumi’s hand when they slept, and it confused Oikawa even more. They were best friends for so long, why was he getting nervous now?

“Do you want a broken arm in time for next week’s match?” 

Iwaizumi didn’t slap his hand away, though. Oikawa didn’t stop half-gripping Iwaizumi’s fingers, either. 

“Awww, Iwa-chan, you only hold my hand when you’re sad, I wanted to do it when you’re happy too!”

“I’d be happier if you weren’t annoying me, dumbass.”

Iwaizumi’s hand turned to lay open, fingers spreading to make space for Oikawa’s and the sun suddenly felt much hotter on his cheeks. 

They stayed like that for a while. Iwaizumi closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the smell of the grass and the light tingling on his skin, the gentle breeze blowing through his hair and the soft skin of Oikawa’s hands, long fingers holding him tightly, fingertips touching the roof of his hand. Oikawa mulled over everything that was going on, for once not related to their lives at home. He thought about where life would take them and if it would separate them. The idea made him restless, like he was running out of time. They relied on each other a lot, sure, but he knew they’d be okay being apart, they’d talked about it and both agreed video calls in the case of emergencies would be enough. So why did his heart ache at the thought of not being able to hold Iwaizumi’s hand like this?

He could feel himself getting more and more frustrated, and he had no one but himself to blame. He felt words creeping up his throat, and wondered how he could phrase them without shattering the easy mood they’d finally gotten the chance to enjoy. Iwaizumi’s hand twitched in his, sensing his sudden unrest. Of course he did.

“Iwa-chan… do you ever feel really truly happy?”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Oikawa, completely focused and mildly worried. Oikawa felt warm. They were holding hands and Iwaizumi was looking at him like that, with that open and vulnerable gaze he only got when he could really relax and be himself. Oikawa cleared his throat.

“Like, even when I’m happy like today, I still feel kind of hollow. Sad.”

Iwaizumi looked back at the sky and gently squeezed Oikawa’s hand as if to show he understood. Oikawa’s throat was starting to hurt with a hard lump slowly forming. He couldn’t shake the feeling of restlessness, impatience. He was talking, saying things he wanted to say, but they weren’t helping, like there was something more.

“Do you?” his voice almost cracked and he could feel his fingers tightening between Iwaizumi’s. His friend was returning the close grip, both of them clinging on to each other. It took a couple long seconds for Iwaizumi to reply, and when he did, Oikawa was glad he was watching the clouds soaring over their heads, or else he would see the broken expression he was sure had to accompany a tone so low and dripping with raw hurt. 

“Angry.”

Oikawa’s heart was pounding in his chest, guilt chewing at his muscles. Why, just why did he have to ruin everything. He couldn’t fix it now, could he? Iwaizumi sounded so deeply wounded, and Oikawa imagined he must have been. He couldn’t imagine being angry every second of every day, how draining it must be. Sadness was tranquil, it was quiet and dull and slow. Being angry all the time and keeping it in sounded entirely different. It sounded too energetic and it was bizarre in the way it seemed like it could make you age faster, drain you and stress you out, but when Iwaizumi had said that one word, he sounded like a child. The innocent broken child that Oikawa had first met. 

His lips tingled unpleasantly. He decided he didn’t mind embarassing himself, he had to say something to try and blow away the atmosphere that had come back to linger over them again, like a cursed raincloud following them their whole lives.

“M-maybe we really are like beauty and the beast! Even when we’re happy, we’re still ugly on the inside!” 

He punched himself in his mind. Stupid, stupid thing to say. And not positive in the slightest. Surely enough, Iwaizumi’s voice still sounded sad. 

“You’re not.”

Oikawa’s stomach lurched violently. Iwaizumi was being too honest. His words were too certain and his intentions too pure. He really meant what he’d said and Oikawa found himself flustered.

“Except when you’re crying.”

Oikawa’s head snapped to the side in shock. Iwaizumi was looking at him out of the corner of his eye and grinning. The pain that had been there before was nowhere to be seen and it worried Oikawa a little, but he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. There was a chance to reignite the carelessness from before and he didn’t want to throw it away. 

“Iwa-chan, you’re so mean!!” he whined.

“Just snot everywhere…” 

“Iwaizumi, I hate you!!”

The light atmosphere had returned, but Oikawa’s stomach couldn’t settle and his mind was beginning to clear. He began to understand why he liked lying next to Iwaizumi like this and why he liked the way Iwaizumi looked at him with such honesty and fondness, and most importantly, why his hand refused to release its tight grip on Iwaizumi’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SUFFERED SO MUCH WRITING THIS CHAPTER IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MUCH HAPPIER UGH
> 
> but hey here's ur oikawa falling in love with his best friend............. as always, please leave comments to let me know what you think!!!
> 
> you can find me on tumblr yourweeaboobs i run the blog with a friend (i'm agata)


	7. Breaking Point

The cheers from the crowd spurred them onto the court, ready to act, blood rushing through their veins in anticipation for what would most certainly be a victory. Oikawa gave his captain’s speech with the team huddled in a circle, all loose grins and cheeky glances at their opponents. Iwaizumi was looking forward to this game – they were playing against a team that was tough enough to give them a good workout, but not enough to make them even consider they’d be losing that night. Everyone ran out onto the court to warm up, volleyballs slapping against the floor as loudly as possible to intimidate their opponents even further. 

Iwaizumi’s gaze was drawn to Oikawa, who was on the edge of the court looking around the crowd as always. He was about to turn his head to do his usual search as well, but he was stopped when he saw Oikawa freeze and abruptly turn his head to stare at Iwaizumi.

He couldn’t feel his body, like he’d just floated right out of it out of fear, but it turned on its own to face the direction Oikawa had been looking in. He could hear his voice being called out from beside him, but all he could focus on right now was his father, sitting in the first row, silent and watching him with an expressionless face. He felt his stomach tighten and prick violently, his head filling with a hot fog and a highpitched sound, as if Oikawa was standing next to him, drilling right into his skull. His lungs started to constrict and his throat tighten. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. He never showed up. 

He jerked when Oikawa pulled him forward by his jersey. His vision was interspersed with black and the drilling in his ears wouldn’t stop. The next thing he knew, they were in the bathroom and Oikawa was splashing cold water on his face. Iwaizumi tried to focus his gaze on his best friend, but it was no use. He stared dumbly through Oikawa, lungs tightening and burning and then feeling as if they didn’t exist. Oikawa was watching him, face completely serious, albeit paler than usual. Suddenly, he looked over Iwaizumi’s shoulder and said, “It’s fine, I’ll handle it. Just leave us alone.”

There was a match. They were going to play a match. And Iwaizumi’s father would be watching him. He coughed violently and fell onto his knees as his lungs worked alone to suck in air and push it out too quickly for the rest of his body to handle. Oikawa crouched in front of him, gripping his shoulders. “Iwa-chan, it’s okay, it’s okay, calm down, it’s okay, deep breaths.”

Iwaizumi felt his diaphragm twitching angrily as he held a breath in for a couple seconds and then let it out slowly, calming his breathing. His entire body was shaking and sweating, but there was a distinct wetness on his cheeks. 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa’s voice was soft and composed, the necessity to stay calm for his friend’s sake taking over his own nerves heroically. Iwaizumi looked up at him, every muscle in his body either twitching, tense or weak. Oikawa’s palms pressed against his cheeks, the warmth dizzying but comforting. He looked like he was about to say something, but he was stopped by an abrupt knock on the door and the sound of it opening. Oikawa looked over Iwaizumi’s shoulder. 

“The game’s starting.” It was the coach. Iwaizumi felt another twist in his abdomen at the reminder of the game and the crowd. His body moved by itself again, though this time feebly. He grabbed the front of Oikawa’s jersey, getting his attention. 

“Go. I can’t play, but you need to go. I’ll be fine.”

Oikawa looked like he was going to protest, but eventually sighed and nodded, eyes on Iwaizumi’s face, brow creased in worry and doubt. Hands still on Iwaizumi’s cheeks, he leaned forward to press a kiss to his friend’s forehead and jogged out of the bathroom to join the coach. 

Minutes passed and Iwaizumi slowly started to feel better. He spent most of the match still on the bathroom floor, occasionally standing up to splash water on the back of his neck or to wash the tears off his face. His muscles started to regain their usual feeling, but the dread of his father’s presence in the building didn’t go away. He hoped with all his might that he’d left after seeing his son being dragged out of the gym and his absence on the court, but a part of him suspected he was still there, waiting until the match would end. Anyway, he’d see him that evening at home. Iwaizumi pressed his knuckles against his eyelids in frustration. 

Everyone probably knew. Oikawa had told someone to leave before the coach arrived, and that could have been anyone from one person to the entire team, even the entire hall. Iwaizumi considered sneaking out of the school, but he knew he owed at least the coach an apology. He stood up and focused on breathing slowly for the remainder of the game, and when the cheers seeped through the wall, he left the bathroom and headed back for the main gym. He had no doubt his team had won.   
He nearly crashed into Oikawa at the entrance to the gym. “Iwa-chan!” he exclaimed, breathless from the match. “You look much better.”

Iwaizumi nodded, not looking his friend in the eye. He felt guilt and shame, and it was too hard to see Oikawa worrying over him still.

“I feel better. Thanks. I’m assuming we won?”

“Yeah, of course! We were all doing it for you.”

He nodded again. Oikawa could be really sweet when he wanted to and Iwaizumi felt honoured to be treated that way by his friend and captain.

“I’m gonna go apologize to the coach. I’ll apologize to the team at practice, but I wanna catch him right now.”

He felt a weight on his shoulder as Oikawa reached out for him. Iwaizumi looked up and saw worry and pity. 

“Iwa-chan, your dad’s still here… Right before I came out to find you I saw him coming down from the bleachers, but it looked like he was deliberately taking his time…”

Iwaizumi sighed and dropped his head back. Thoughts buzzed through his mind, throwing choices at him. For a while, he was tempted to just apologize to their coach another day, but from somewhere deep within him a new sort of motivation slithered out. He wasn’t going to let his father stop him from doing what was decent. He looked back at Oikawa, who was waiting and biting his lip. His hair was messy from the game and sweat trickled down his temples and under the collar of his shirt. He looked good. Iwaizumi shook his head. He obviously wasn’t feeling like himself yet. He pressed at his eyelids with his index finger and thumb before looking back at Oikawa again. 

“It’s fine. I need to apologize.”

Oikawa gave a forced smile and nodded. “Okay…” he half-whispered, his hand dropping from Iwaizumi’s shoulder to grip his hand gently. “I’ll come with you. And then you can come and sleep over.”

Warmth pressed at Iwaizumi’s skin again, but this time it came from fondness. He squeezed Oikawa’s hand and smiled weakly at him, hoping it expressed his gratitude sufficiently, before letting go and making his way into the gym, his step bold. He immediately spotted the coach and approached him, bowing deeply and apologizing. The coach patted him firmly on the shoulder and told him not to worry about it. Oikawa stayed close by his side the entire time, looking around nervously with a shy protectiveness that Iwaizumi found endearing. Maybe even a little bit cute.

They talked to their teammates for a bit, and even though they all threw concerned and vaguely curious glances at Iwaizumi, none of them asked what had happened. Iwaizumi silently decided to treat the entire team to ramen at some point to repay them for their support and decency, and tried to lenghten their conversation as much as possible. 

After half an hour or so, everyone decided it was time to head to their homes, and Iwaizumi looked to Oikawa only to find him watching nervously. A glance to the side gave him away and Iwaizumi took a deep breath before following his gaze, and, sure enough, Iwaizumi’s father was standing by himself in the rapidly emptying gym, eyes fixed on his son. They stared at each other for a while, and then the older scoffed, laughed under his breath and sauntered towards the exit.

Iwaizumi felt a tearing pain deep in his chest, his abdomen, his limbs, everywhere. That nonchalance was genuine and had just a touch of amusement about it, and it made the boy want to rip his own hair out. Instead, he stood still with his neutral expression and followed his father out of the gym with his gaze, until finally Oikawa grabbed his elbow and pulled him towards the locker room to get changed. 

Neither of the two boys said anything until they had reached Oikawa’s empty house, showered, changed and gotten into bed at just 9pm. Iwaizumi lay with his back to his friend, hurt clawing away at his insides. Oikawa placed his hand gently on Iwaizumi’s arm.

“Iwa-chan, I’m so sorry…”

That was all it took to break through his walls. Iwaizumi turned onto his other side and the two of them melted into each other, Iwaizumi’s face pressed against Oikawa’s collarbone, tears seeping into the alien-print tshirt. Oikawa held him close, with one hand carding through his hair softly and slowly, occasionally reaching down to wipe his cheek or stroke the back of his neck. He fell asleep to the lulling sound of Oikawa telling him it was going to be okay, still in his best friend’s arms, revelling in the warmth building deep within him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i haven't updated in like 3 weeks i was in tokyo for 2 weeks and had no time!!! i hope this angsty chapter makes up for it lol i rly hate myself for having written this and am sufferring severely
> 
> as usual, please leave comments to let me know what you thought i really appreciate ur opinions and even it's just you telling me you hate me for writing this fic!!!! thanks so much for reading!
> 
> you can find me on tumblr yourweeaboobs i run the blog with a friend (i'm agata)


	8. Hazy Mornings and Lazy Afternoons

His mind awoke faster than his body did, limbs heavy and somehow trapped. No. Literally trapped. He lazily considered that someone had put him in a straightjacket, but it felt more like he’d been tied around the chest to some weird pole. He forced his eyes to unglue themselves into slits just wide enough to see why he couldn’t move, but as he saw an alien staring into his eyes, almost as green as the tiny creature, the confusion forced him to abandon the idea of giving in to his uncomfortable predicament. He’d heard stories of people waking up after nights out drinking in very bizarre ways, but surely this had to top them. Iwaizumi lifted his head away from what had apparently been the front of Oikawa’s pyjamas and looked up at his best friend’s surprised face. 

They stared at each other for a while, Iwaizumi still trying to wake up fully. Eventually, Oikawa’s face split into a playful, well-rested grin, but just as he was about to say something, Iwaizumi’s phone vibrated loudly on the bedside table. His face fell instantly and one of the arms that had been locking his friend in a lethally caring grip retracted to press his palm against Iwaizumi’s cheek. 

“Don’t look at it. He’s been texting you all morning.”

Iwaizumi sighed through his nose, the warmth of Oikawa’s hand making him complacent. He dropped his head back onto the matress, face just barely pressed into his friend’s chest. Oikawa’s hand slid from his cheek into his hair as he adjusted himself so his other arm encircled Iwaizumi more tightly.

“What time is it, anyway?”

“Almost 3.”

“When did you wake up?”

“Literally like two minutes before you.”

Iwaizumi scoffed. “Liar. You’ve been cuddling me for hours, haven’t you?”

Oikawa’s face heated up at an alarming rate. As always, he was completely transparent to Iwaizumi. It wasn’t even entirely him enjoying holding the usually reserved boy, it was the memory of seeing Iwaizumi so broken down and shredded. Everytime he decided his arm was definitely numb enough to justify waking Iwaizumi up, he’d remember the sounds of his oldest friend struggling to breathe and promise to let him rest peacefully for as long as possible. His idiotic feelings didn’t even play a part in that particular decision-making process. The process regarding kissing Iwaizumi’s forehead every hour and playing with his hair was a completely different story, though.

“Hey, Tooru. Thanks.” 

The words were quiet but determined, and Oikawa smiled at the sincerity. Iwaizumi’s phone vibrated again, and the noise somehow spurred the setter into action. He patted the other’s back so he’d roll away, and Oikawa got out of bed. He grabbed the annoying device, its screen flashing ‘Messages (13)’, and walked across the room to his desk. The sheets rustled behind him as Iwaizumi sat up to watch curiously, the sounds making him far too flustered, and definitely, absolutely way way way too focused on the thought that he’d love to hear that sound every single day. He grabbed his laptop, dropped the phone onto a pile of papers, and quickly returned to the bed, fluffing the pillows up against his backboard. He turned to smile at Iwaizumi.

“So, Iwa-chan! What movie do you wanna watch first?”

A stunning smile slowly creeped onto Iwaizumi’s face, his eyes lighting up in a childish giddiness and gratitude. Oikawa’s pathetically infatuated brain occupied itself in the thought of ‘mission accomplished’, and so failed to even consider that Iwaizumi’s reaction might be to lean over and press a warm kiss to his unsuspecting cheek. He just thanked every deity out there that his best friend, who he had inconsolably fallen head over heels for, had immediately turned to sit side-by-side with him and so hadn’t seen the disgustingly sweet blush on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for being such a piece of shit and not updating for ages D: i didnt wanna write smth when i had no inspo and then be like oops this is shit
> 
> plss leave comments, they're what really spurs me into writing the next chapters and i value every word :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr (yourweeaboobs) i run the blog with a friend, i'm agata :)


	9. The End/The Beginning

Graduation brought with it many changes and many consistencies. Their team lost against Karasuno, but Oikawa and Iwaizumi passed and got into numerous excellent universities. Eventually, even the bitterness of their unaccomplished dreams faded into nothing more and nothing less than a lesson – every end is also a beginning. This lesson returned to smile at them several times over the next couple of weeks. Every time Oikawa’s parents forgot he had graduated, he went over to Iwaizumi’s to talk about university options. They didn’t play volleyball together again until much later, but the pain of their loss in their final high school match seemed increasingly silly the more time passed. Iwaizumi’s father continued his determined mission to hurt his son’s feelings in any way he possibly could, but as the two boys, teammates, and, above all, friends sat together on the playground they’d met on to reveal to each other what university they’d picked, the harmony with which they both said Kyoto seemed to level out all the bumps in this long road they’d walked. Their final high school lesson once again presented itself – it was just the beginning for them.

Some more time passed, and they sat on Iwaizumi’s littered floor, the light from the screen flashing brightly onto all the packed and half-packed boxes, papers, books, clothes, trophies, and pictures that surrounded them. The sounds of their own childish screams and laughs, recorded years ago, bounced off the walls of what had been a sanctuary for so long. They watched the screen, hypnotized, as if departing for university meant truly throwing away their entire lives, never to be seen again, and this was the last they’d get to see of any of it. 

Heavy footsteps crashed through the hall behind the thin door and Iwaizumi’s father’s muttering could clearly be heard, precisely as he’d intended, as he ranted on about how excited he was for the house to finally be empty again. Oikawa glanced at Iwaizumi, who had already turned to look at him, his face relaxed and slowly melting into a lovely grin. He couldn’t care less what his father was hissing about him. Oikawa smiled, too.

The chaos of the last year had been a lot – so much that looking back on it left Oikawa in shock at how much both of them had overcome. What was even more shocking was how they had come out of it. So much of that anger and resentment that had always been the most dominant part of their lives had ripened into something a lot more valuable. It wasn’t even the carelessness they now felt or the way they laughed at what their parents did this time. It was excitement. Excitement to finally start the lives they deserved, away from their parents. They probably wouldn’t be invited home for holidays anyway, so they’d be spending them together, leading their own lives, moving on, carrying on. None of it mattered anymore, because now they knew that they could escape. 

Tiny Oikawa and tiny Iwaizumi were now walking down the street that they could see through the window, holding hands and laughing and pushing each other playfully. Iwaizumi’s aunt had recorded them when she’d come to visit, and it was a tape they’d hidden many years ago to stop Iwaizumi’s father from throwing it away. It was the purest of their childhood memories, and Oikawa couldn’t help but sniffle a bit. 

“Don’t tell me you’re crying, idiot.” Iwaizumi scoffed, but when Oikawa turned to look at him, he was a bit wet around the eyes, too. They smiled at each other again and Oikawa sighed deeply. Everything was changing so fast in such exciting ways, it was throwing him off balance. 

“It’s gonna be so different now, Iwa-chan. It’s gonna be amazing.”

Iwaizumi grunted in response, his eyes focused on Oikawa as if he knew this wasn’t even close to being the end of it.

“I’m just really happy I met you all those years ago. I’m happy I invited you in and I’m happy you said yes. And I’m happy our parents are so fucked up because otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now. With you.”

There was a pause. Green eyes still watching him, Oikawa forced himself to relax. As if he hadn’t already been the biggest sap ever, he got ready for what he’d been preparing for almost as hard as his finals.

“Thanks, Hajime.”

It was perfect. It was exactly how he’d wanted to say it. Iwaizumi was still watching him, but he was smiling a little now. That was enough for Oikawa to feel accomplished, though he knew that if the past month hadn’t taught them as much as it had, Iwaizumi may have asked him not to say it again. 

“Hey. Come here.”

Iwaizumi was motioning for Oikawa to move closer and for a second he simultaneously got excited for some juicy gossip and was offended how little Iwaizumi had cared about that disgusting speech and that practiced pronounciation of his first name. Although, as he moved closer and closer and Iwaizumi continued to motion for him to keep going, the realization that they were alone in the room and there was no need to whisper dawned on him. By the time he had fully processed that there was no way he was about to hear a secret, his face was inches away from his best friend’s, and then Iwaizumi leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, tiny pressure of warmth that was bizarrely sensational and ordinary at the same time. It lasted only a second and then Iwaizumi had moved back a bit and looked up at Oikawa, who was staring at him flustered but frozen. Iwaizumi laughed lightly under his breath before reaching up to brush the other’s hair back in a gentle gesture. Oikawa melted. He sunk forward into his oldest friend, both of them crashing onto the floor in a giddy, excited mess of limbs and laughs.

Three days later they left to university, ending one life they spent together and beginning an entirely new one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's over!! watch me slyly put oiks and iwa in the same uni bc idgaf and my ship will never sink
> 
> i was planning on making this whole fic a bit longer but this ending just felt so right and it felt right to end it now and spare them more suffering and just have them get together and finally be happy ffs
> 
> thank you all so much for your support i hope u like the ending and it makes up for all that delicious angst ive been serving u in previous chapters <3


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